Why the Twin Flame Runner Is Actually Saving the Connection

Many people in twin flame relationships get into the Runner/Chaser dynamic at some point. This is the time when your ego can’t handle the relationship anymore, and one of you runs away. The Chaser is normally left behind with all the questions and tries to save the relationship at all costs. They don’t understand why the Runner is running from such a divine connection. But there is a big reason why they are running, which is often misunderstood.

I was the Runner in my twin flame relationship. When I got obsessed with all the articles and videos about twin flames (especially during our separation), it became pretty clear to me that most of it was written from the Chaser’s perspective. The Runner is often the third party in all of the stories.

Generally, advice is geared towards the one who is left behind, with often the conclusion that the Runner will eventually come back once they are ready. You think they are rejecting you, and they just need time to reconcile with themselves and the connection. You are being told that they run because they are scared.

I Was the Twin Flame Runner

But it doesn’t really work like that. The Runner is running to protect themselves, and with that, also you. They are your mirror, so how could they run from you without you running from yourself? And they don’t come back once they are ready. They might come back when both of you have done the inner work to realize you are also the one who is running. Not from them, but from your own shadows.

The twin flame runner is often treated as the bad guy in the common twin flame stories. Advice focuses on the one left behind, making you think that the Runner will return when they’re “ready.” They are your mirror, so how could they run from you without you running from yourself?

Reunion doesn’t happen when the Runner is “ready.” It happens when both twins have done the inner work.

The real question is: Are you also running? Not from them, but from your own shadows?

Why Does the Twin Flame Runner Run?

I was running because I knew that our relationship was never going to work at that moment. I was running because I simply wanted to save our connection, not to break it. Also, I was running because I knew we both had so much more inner work to do. I was running because I wanted to protect his children. Besides that, I was running because I couldn’t commit to him before we were both ready. I was running because I realized he was narcissistic. I was running for a lot of reasons, but never because I rejected him or because I was scared of our connection.

To sum it up, I ran because:

• We both needed to heal first.
• I wanted to protect his children.
• I couldn’t commit before we were ready.
• He had narcissistic traits, reflecting my own toxic tendencies.

Running to disconnect?

In fact, I felt more connected than ever during my running stage. I could finally take a break and see our relationship for what it really was. Now I finally had the time to heal my childhood traumas. I had the space to sit with myself completely alone and get into a deep state of healing.

And, I learned that he is my mirror, and whatever he did, also applied to me. I finally had the courage to look at who I really was. I would never have reached that state of mind if I hadn’t run. And because I ran, I protected him too. If I hadn’t run, we would have ended up hurting each other even more.

I protected myself from him, and I protected him from me. And with that, I from myself and he from himself. If you are twin flames, you are the same soul. You have to understand that if your twin is running, it means you are running too. I can see that this is hard to grasp, but the whole point of a twin flame relationship is that it makes you look into the mirror.

You met this person because you have lessons to learn. The same lessons that your twin is learning.

Twin Flame Separation Is a Tool for Healing

The Runner/Chaser stage is a profound healing catalyst. There can’t be a reunion if there is no separation first. And the separation is the time you need to be alone and discover yourself. Your Runner twin is giving you an immense gift by running away from you.

Don’t chase them, chase yourself. Chase your own shadows, chase your own dreams. Go deep and discover who you really are. Face that mirror. Your twin is teaching you to love yourself. There won’t ever be a union if you don’t have that realization.

And don’t stop chasing just because you think that might bring them back. Stop chasing because that’s what you deserve. You deserve to get to know yourself. You deserve to heal your wounds. Just like your twin deserves that.

And when they don’t take that time, you will have to come to terms with the fact that they might be running forever. Or maybe you are running forever from yourself. But they are simply running to protect you, whether they come back or not.

Are Twin Flames Real?

Now, to me, the whole twin flame dynamic is very complex. I am not even sure if twin flames really exist, to be honest. But I do know that these types of connections come into your life to teach you something.

And they will keep coming back until you learn those lessons. You might call them false twins, fake twins, or catalyst twins, and you are telling yourself you are just waiting for your real twin. But whatever type of twin they are, you have to get to know yourself first.

Can You Face the Mirror?

Do you have the guts to recognize your own toxic traits — maybe you even have narcissistic tendencies? I know this is super controversial and probably the last thing you want to hear when you are in the separation stage, but you can only wake up if you really open your eyes.

The good news is, though, that I believe narcissists can actually heal (unlike what society tries to make you believe). But to heal, they/you need to recognize it first. And once you heal that part of yourself, your twin will also heal. But if they don’t, you will never reach union. And if you don’t, you will never reach union either.

The Twin Flame Journey: A Spiritual Awakening

The Universe has a funny way of teaching us lessons. You being in a twin flame relationship is actually a spiritual awakening on speed. You are blessed to be able to feel this type of connection, but you are even more blessed that you are given the tools to accelerate your healing journey.

The best thing that helped me overcome the loneliness I felt during our separation was to work in my shadow journal. The questions in this journal made me look at myself and my family with completely different eyes. I highly recommend it if you are serious about healing.

I also wrote some short guides myself if you want an introduction to journaling.

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Heal Yourself and Heal Your Twin

So, to conclude, I do think twin flames exist because it’s a way for us to really look into the mirror. It doesn’t really matter what you call it, but you have to realize that both twin flames are acting from childhood trauma. It’s time to figure out yours.

Shadow work is the ultimate part of inner growth. You will face your inner demons and learn how to make friends with them. Curious about self-healing? My offer for 50% off (ANNA50) for my new Shadow Journal is only valid for a short time.

RELATED: How Does The Twin Flame Runner Feel During Separation?