Many people in twin flame relationships experience the Runner/Chaser dynamic at some point. This happens when the intensity of the connection overwhelms one partner, causing them to run. The twin flame runner is often misunderstood, leaving the Chaser confused and desperate to save the relationship.
The Chaser doesn’t understand why someone would flee from such a divine bond. However, the reason behind the running is deeper than fear—it’s a necessary part of the journey.
I Was the Twin Flame Runner
During my twin flame separation, I became obsessed with articles and videos about twin flames. Yet, most of them were written from the Chaser’s perspective. The twin flame runner is often treated as the bad guy in these stories. Advice focuses on the one left behind, making you think that the Runner will return when they’re “ready.”
Many believe the Runner is rejecting the Chaser because they fear love. But that’s not the full story. The truth is, the twin flame runner is protecting both themselves and their twin. They are mirroring the Chaser’s own unresolved wounds.
Reunion doesn’t happen when the Runner is “ready.” It happens when both twins have done the inner work.
The real question is: Are you also running? Not from them, but from your own shadows?
Why Does the Twin Flame Runner Run?
I ran because I knew the relationship couldn’t work at that moment. I ran not to break our connection, but to save it.
I ran because:
- We both needed to heal first.
- I wanted to protect his children.
- I couldn’t commit before we were ready.
- I realized he had narcissistic traits—reflecting my own toxic tendencies.
I wasn’t running out of fear or rejection. In fact, I felt more connected than ever during my Runner stage.
For the first time, I had space to heal my childhood traumas. I could sit with myself, alone, and do the deep inner work. This period of separation allowed me to recognize that my twin flame was my mirror. Everything he did reflected something in me.
Had I stayed, we would have hurt each other even more. Running wasn’t abandonment—it was protection. I saved both of us from greater pain.
You have to understand that if your twin is running, it means you are running too. I can see that this is hard to grasp, but the whole point of a twin flame relationship is that it makes you look into the mirror. You met this person because you have lessons to learn. The same lessons that your twin is learning.
Twin Flame Separation Is a Tool for Healing
The Runner/Chaser stage is a profound catalyst for growth. Reunion is impossible without separation. The time apart forces each twin to face themselves.
If your twin flame runner is avoiding you, see it as a gift. They are giving you the opportunity to heal. Instead of chasing them, chase yourself. Chase your dreams. Chase your own healing.
Stop chasing them—not because you want to bring them back, but because you deserve to find yourself.
Sometimes, the Runner never returns. Or maybe, you are the one running from yourself. Either way, they are protecting you, whether or not reunion happens.
Are Twin Flames Real?
The twin flame dynamic is very complex. I’m not even sure if twin flames exist in the way they’re often described. But I do know that these intense connections serve a purpose. They come into your life to teach you lessons—and they will keep returning until you learn them.
People often label connections as “false twins” or “catalyst twins,” hoping their “real” twin flame is still out there. But regardless of labels, self-discovery comes first.
Can You Face the Mirror?
Are you willing to recognize your own toxic traits? What is the real trauma you are carrying with you that made you connect with a person like them?
I know this may sound controversial. It’s probably the last thing you want to hear during separation. But true awakening only happens when you open your eyes.
The good news? I believe broken or toxic people can heal. But healing begins with self-awareness first. When you heal, your twin also heals, because you are connected in the quantum field. Without this inner transformation, union remains out of reach.
The Twin Flame Journey: A Spiritual Awakening
The universe has a unique way of teaching lessons. A twin flame relationship is like a spiritual awakening on overdrive. It’s a rare gift—but also a challenge.
During my separation, one of the best tools I used was shadow work journaling. Answering deep questions about myself and my family gave me a new perspective. If you’re serious about healing, I highly recommend it.
2. My Own Twin Flame Story – The Scariest Night of My Life
This article is part 2 of the story of my twin flame relationship. Click here for part 1. We arrived just in time for a sunset surf. He unloaded the boards and gave me a brief explanation of how the…
Final Thoughts
I do believe twin flames exist—not as perfect love stories, but as mirrors for our deepest wounds.
Both twin flames act from childhood trauma, that’s why you are so bonded. If you want union with your twin, it’s time to confront yours first.
RELATED: How Does The Twin Flame Runner Feel During Separation?
Need more help on your journey?
I recently did this course from spiritual guide Cory Muscara on really getting to know yourself and starting fresh. I highly recommend it if you need some external tools to move forward.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a twin flame runner?
A twin flame runner is the partner in a twin flame connection who distances themselves—physically, emotionally, or both—due to the intensity of the bond. This happens in the Runner/Chaser dynamic, where one twin (the Chaser) actively seeks reunion, while the Runner withdraws.
Is the twin flame runner protecting the Chaser?
Yes. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, the runner is protecting both themselves and the Chaser. By stepping away, they allow both twins the opportunity to heal unresolved traumas. Rushing into union before both are ready can lead to toxic cycles of pain.
Will the twin flame runner come back?
A twin flame reunion depends on mutual healing. The runner doesn’t return simply because they “miss” the Chaser—they return when both have done the necessary inner work. If healing doesn’t occur, separation may continue indefinitely.
What should I do during twin flame separation?
Use this time wisely:
Trust that the universe will bring clarity and the right path forward. Focus on personal healing and self-discovery. Let go of attachment to outcomes.
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