What’s Better Than a Twin Flame? It Does Exist!

Six years ago, I first heard about twin flames. And it fitted my then relationship perfectly: the instant connection, the crazy push-pull, the separation and desperation, and the feeling that it must be something divine. I didn’t think there could be something better than a twin flame.

The internet describes twin flames as the ultimate bond between two people, the other half of your soul. And while this type of bond actually does exist, it’s not called a twin flame.

The whole point of the twin flame is to burn you down. There is a reason why these relationships are so hard and expose all your childhood wounds and bring you into a spiritual awakening.

It was designed like that.

Twin flames are not meant to stay

This is going to be painful for many of you who are in push/pull bonds like these, but twin flames are most likely not meant to stay. If you have one of those burning connections, they are very deep lessons.

Twin flames represent trauma bonds and childhood wound exposure, and are meant to let you experience a type of love that you’ve never felt before.

That type of love is true and is a reminder that that person is actually out there. But they are not twin flames. They arrive once you’ve found wholeness from within.

The wholeness that your twin flame awakened in you.

That is why your twin feels like destiny: they were sent to you to find yourself.

The concept of twin flames

The divine love you feel with your twin flame is real, don’t doubt that. It’s a preview of what is waiting for you with a secure person who chooses you fully.

I thought for six years that I would never find somebody like my twin flame again and that there would be no greater love than that.

Turned out I was wrong.

I just needed those six years to fully integrate my own lost parts. The lost part that my twin flame represented to me (which was my broken inner masculine).

Anima and Animus

It is what Carl Jung wrote about as well: the anima (inner feminine in a man) and animus (inner masculine in a woman).

Your twin flame represents the shadow animus/anima that was lost inside of you. That is why this connection feels like home and becoming whole.

Your Soul finally finds their lost part again.

But they only found it externally, so they could learn how to become whole from within, with both the animus and anima integrated in the same person (you).

That is what a twin flame really is: the burner that brings you back to yourself through hard lessons and push/pull dynamics. The word ‘flame’ is literally in the term integrated because it’s supposed to burn you.

Divine love is real

I think many twin flames have the feeling that their ‘other half’ is out there for a long time already. It’s like you know deep inside that that person exists and is waiting for you somewhere.

So when you finally encounter your twin flame, you think you have finally met them. And when the connection starts becoming extremely triggering, we will do everything it takes to keep it.

But the reason why your twin flame showed up is to prepare your heart for the real one. You would not have been able to attract your real divine counterpart without learning the lessons of your twin flame.

You needed to heal your own wounding so that your heart is pure for the true other half waiting for you.

Hearing a voice

After breaking up with my twin flame, I started hearing an inner masculine voice inside my head that was just so loving and caring. I thought for the longest time that this was the Soul of my twin flame speaking to me, but it was not.

Every time I had another bad relationship after my twin flame separation, that voice became loud again, telling me that he’s out there and will come into my life at the right moment.

So I kept having hope with every new man I met that it was finally him, but none of them came even close. So I naturally concluded that that voice must have been the healed version of my twin flame.

However, every time I met my twin flame in real life after our separation, my Soul was screaming, “No, don’t go back!” I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t receiving the love of that voice in my head and why my twin stayed toxic all the time.

Complete surrender

After my most recent relationship with an avoidant man, I finally gave up on the whole soulmate idea. How could I keep attracting avoidant partners when I was so ready for the real deal?

I had done the inner work, faced my shadows, and healed my inner child. And still, I was with a man who wasn’t fully choosing me.

What I didn’t know was that I did exactly the right thing by walking away from him a few months ago. I knew he wasn’t treating me right, I knew I deserved better, and I knew he wasn’t the voice in my head.

So I finally chose myself. I broke up with him not because he was a bad person, but because I granted myself a better love than this. I fully, 100% chose myself and my own heart, instead of him begging me to stay in this mediocre relationship.

The real divine connection

And then something interesting happened. The voice told me I was ready now and then disappeared from my mind.

I felt completely whole within myself, with my inner feminine and inner masculine completely balanced inside of me. The fact that I walked away from that guy caused my inner feminine to feel safe around my masculine part.

I had chosen the right thing to protect her, instead of changing myself to be with this avoidant man. She trusted me completely now. And my inner masculine was thriving; he had finally done the right thing to protect his other half.

It was that moment that I realized I would be perfectly fine all by myself, not needing a man to fill a void in me that I had been looking for for so long.

And then he showed up

Vibration is real, and your frequency attracts what you send out. That is why your twin flame came at a moment when you needed to learn some lessons. That was totally part of the soul contract you two have.

But you need to accept it when it’s time to let go, to allow what you really deserve to come into your life.

As soon as my inner masculine and feminine became whole within myself, I started sending out a wholeness frequency subconsciously.

And then I met a man out of nowhere when I genuinely wasn’t looking for anyone. He was literally that voice in my head from the first moment he spoke to me.

He was as whole as I was, as healed as myself, and as emotionally available and open as the voice who had been with me all this time. It felt like he was my inner masculine embodied in a real person.

Divine masculine and feminine

That inner voice was always real; that man was always real. I just wasn’t ready to receive him all these years. If he had shown up six years earlier, before my twin flame, I would have for sure fucked it up.

Because I had no idea what unconditional would be like. I was a wounded woman in need of learning some tough lessons. And when I let go of my twin flame (and any desire to find a new man) completely, I integrated those lessons and united the inner masculine and feminine within myself.

That’s when my true divine masculine heard the call and showed up.

And I showed up for him as well. Energy goes both ways. It’s not that one person can heal the other one; both have to already be whole within themselves. And both have to be ready to receive each other’s love.

A new term for the real twin flames

I think it’s time we introduce a new word for true divine counterparts. Let twin flames be what they are: burning flames to bring you to your knees.

But let’s have a new term for the real soul love we always knew was out there:

Divine Anima and Divine Animus

As a male dominant (regardless of gender), your Divine Anima will be the same energy as your inner feminine. And as a female dominant, your Divine Animus will be the same as your inner masculine.

Is that better than a twin flame?

That is what Carl Jung teaches as well. Those energies are real, and those counterparts exist, but they only show up when you’ve found them within yourself first.

This doesn’t mean you have to be fully healed to achieve that, as a lot of healing happens within relationships as well. But it does mean that you have to stop being codependent, be genuinely happy on your own, and not seek external validation.

How does it feel when you meet them?

Meeting your Divine Animus/Anima is nothing like meeting your twin flame. It doesn’t come with those crazy fireworks and intense chemistry.

It comes with a quiet and warm feeling, as if your Soul can finally breathe. This is like a huge sigh coming from the depths of you: finally, someone who feels safe.

Safety is so underrated in twin flame relationships because somebody who constantly pushes you away can not feel safe. Even though the love you feel for them is very strong, it has nothing to do with safety for your Soul.

A twin flame is unhealed, and their trauma will overtake the relationship at some point, causing the separation.

But a Divine Animus/Anima has already done the inner work and will hold you tight. They can talk about their feelings, know who they are, and choose you. Every day again.

You create your own reality

If you are stuck in a twin flame dynamic and can’t move forward, know this one thing: You create your own reality.

You choose to believe they are the only One. And you choose to think they will come back to you. You choose to be treated this way. And you subconsciously choose not to be fully chosen by them.

But you can also choose differently. In fact, you need to choose differently. Your wounded masculine or feminine is waiting for you to make that choice. So that they can finally trust you.

Don’t get wounded over and over again by someone who keeps pushing you away. You deserve so much more than that.

Can a twin flame become a divine counterpart?

This is the question that every twin flame wants to know, and it is probably the main reason why you keep waiting. Because somewhere, along the way, you have been told your twin flame will heal as you heal and will come back.

But for many, this is not the case. Many twin flames have severe trauma, addictions, or mental health disorders (like narcissism), which is really hard to overcome.

It keeps you stuck in an endless waiting game, and this is not what the purpose was. The goal was to release yourself from that energy.

When a twin flame heals

Maybe, yes, your current twin flame can heal, and they should. But here’s the paradox: when they heal, the soul contract between you is over, and the connection naturally fades.

Because then that crazy attraction stops, and you wonder why you were into them in the first place.

If you attract somebody from wholeness, you know that the attraction is authentic and not based on wounding.

It is your inner masculine or feminine calling that person in, and it feels amazing. When you both operate from complete inner love, that is the true divine connection that the whole spiritual community talks about.