Twin Flame vs Soulmate… Which One Is Better?

It took me a long time to write this article, simply because I didn’t know the difference of a twin flame vs soulmate myself. I thought that twin flames were the highest form of love ever existing. I was sure I was never going to feel more love than with my twin flame.

But I learned something important: twin flames come to bring you back to yourself, and soulmates show up when you have found that inner love.

So, which one is a higher love? And is twin flame reunion always the goal?

A twin flame comes to expose your wounds

Before I met my twin flame, I had never been in a healthy relationship. Either because I was the toxic one, or my partner was. It was really hard for me to truly let love in, because secretly I was scared of it.

I was scared to be rejected or hurt. So when I met my twin flame and all those barriers vanished, I knew it: he is the One I’ve been looking for!

But twin flame relationships are incredibly hard. Twins show up to crack you open, not to find wholeness with them. The wholeness you are looking for is already within you. And the twin flame relationship is so intense because you don’t feel that wholeness yet.

There is a reason why twin flame connections go through so many push and pulls. You both are looking to fulfil something external. And healthy love does not work like that, fortunately.

A soulmate embraces you in your wholeness

When I broke up with my twin five years ago, I thought I would never find something like that again. And I was right. Twin flame love is a once-in-a-lifetime journey for a reason.

Because once you’ve truly faced your shadows, you won’t attract a twin flame anymore. What’s waiting for you is much better: a Soul Partner.

Soulmates can come in many forms — family, pets, friends, lovers. And when they show up, there is just warmth around them. No games, no playing, no manipulation, no pushing away.

A soulmate just gets you. They get the authentic version of you, not the wounded one looking for validation. They see you for who you really are, not for who you could be.

It’s hard to swap a twin flame for a soulmate

Truth to be told, it’s not so easy to choose a soulmate over a twin flame, even though they are much easier to be with. After all, a twin flame gives you a high that’s similar to an addiction.

It feels strangely good to be in such a hard relationship, because that’s what you’ve been used to as a kid. Your nervous system gets completely activated while being around them, and this feels nice.

A soulmate doesn’t do that. A soulmate feels like a safe haven to retreat to where you can totally be yourself. That feels weird in the beginning, especially after all the emotional activation of a twin flame.

It’s almost too good to be with a soulmate. You probably even make excuses in the beginning that it can’t be so good, and suddenly miss your twin flame again.

This is not what healthy love feels like

I’ve dated a few men after my twin flame relationship, and nobody even came close to the feeling I had with my twin. I always ended up missing my twin flame even more after another failed dating attempt.

But deep in my heart, I knew somebody would be out there. Somebody who matches my new energetic frequency, after healing my twin flame wounds. I had attracted my twin flame during a moment I needed to grow and learn.

I realized he represented all my daddy issues, and went into a deep dive within my psyche in the years that followed our break-up. I worked with plant medicine, shadow work, and inner child work.

And I knew: I am not supposed to reunite with my twin flame anymore. He merely came to expose my shadows, but he’s not the one I want to grow old with. I don’t want that crazy runner/chaser feeling all the time.

A soulmate is easier than a twin flame

I am not going to say a soulmate is better; it’s just different. My twin flame was a chapter in my life that I wouldn’t swap for a million dollars. He brought me back to myself, and that’s a gift I would never have wanted to miss.

But when a soulmate came into my life recently, everything just started flowing. We still have the magnetic attraction, we still have the soul-deep bond, we still have synchronicities and spiritual sex.

And everything is just so much easier than with my twin flame. My soulmate doesn’t make me feel on edge all the time. He doesn’t lie or try to hide me. He takes his time to listen to me and is emotionally available.

I don’t have to be scared that he will suddenly run away or disappear. And this feeling is so sacred.

When are things going to blow up?

I am so used to being in explosive relationships that it feels quite unsettling to be with someone who is just healthy for me. And this effect is commonly known that secure love might feel boring.

However, soulmate love is not boring. The other (secure) guys that I dated after my twin flame indeed felt boring, but I knew that the Universe was not going to leave me with just that.

Why would it give me a twin flame and then make me settle for something boring? Many friends told me I should give it a try anyway, and that I would never find somebody healthy with the same intensity as my twin flame.

But I trusted in my intuition and knew a Soul Partner would be waiting somewhere. And when I was about to meet him, the Universe did everything to make it happen.

Slow soulmate love

I started seeing more synchronicities, moved to a new place I wasn’t planning to move to, and met this guy almost immediately. And while I didn’t have that instant recognition as I had with my twin, I knew that guy had it with me.

His eyes strangely lit up when he saw me, and he kept reaching out afterwards to see me again. He wasn’t pushy at all, but genuinely wanted to hang out. We didn’t kiss or sleep with each other for the first 6 dates, something unheard of with a twin flame since the sexual attraction is so incredibly strong.

And when we did finally touch each other, the electricity was almost palpable. I had been scared to let somebody come close to me, but this person showed me I was worth his time even without sex.

twin flame vs Soulmate Divinity

I always believed in the One, but I believe that the One comes in different forms and shapes. What came as a twin flame to heal your wounds, now comes as a soulmate to let you bask in warm love.

But you won’t attract a soulmate when you are still vibing on your twin flame frequency. Twin flame love is hard for a reason. You have to let it go and move on at some point. They are your mirror, and you need to face your shadow reflecting back at you.

It was hard for me to believe this a couple of years ago, but to be honest, I would never want something like my twin flame anymore now. It is exhausting and so painful.

A soulmate doesn’t do that, and it feels amazing. It feels healthy, warm, and secure. I am not waking up every day completely anxious anymore. I can be who I truly am and don’t have to hide parts of myself to keep my twin flame happy.

Why you First need to let your twin flame go

I think a twin flame can also turn into a soul partner when they have done the inner work. But it’s mandatory for you to let the old version of them go. You will help nobody by waiting on them. Not yourself and not them.

Your attachment keeps them in an energetic loop they can’t evolve out of. If you do the inner work, you will give them the freedom to also explore theirs. But holding on to a fantasy about them is not going to work.

You are only responsible for yourself, and you can only attract a soulmate when you do the work meant for you.

That’s why I created a Twin Flame Shadow Journal. It will make you face your inner child and attachment wounds and guide you through letting go of your twin flame.

Shadow work was the only thing that I had control over during my twin flame separation. And I am so incredibly grateful that I got to break the pattern and attract a soulmate.

Because, trust me, the difference between a twin flame vs soulmate is exactly what you need.